It happens often that we get irritated and impatient by obstacles we have to face in our path, and we just start to put ourselves down by phrases like, “I can’t do this!”, “I’m too tired managing so much stuff!”, or “Nobody cares for me!”. But here at that moment, we have to take a pause, stay calm and take a deep breath and tell ourselves that “It’s okay, things will be smooth soon!”, or “I will give myself time!”. It’s natural to get exhausted but what is not natural is staying stagnant, we have to grow through life no matter how many hardships there are in the way.
And if there is no suffering in your life then you have to check whether your path is in the right direction or not, as suffering and hardship is the second name of life. As the famous saying goes,
Happiness is but an occasional episode in the general drama of pain.
Thomas Hardy
So, while playing your character in this drama of pain, your main concern should be how to grow through what you go through. Continue reading as in this article we will learn various perspectives to grow through life.
Techniques to grow through what you go through
1. Develop Self-consciousness
Self-consciousness is acknowledging our feelings and emotions without being judgemental. It allows us to analyse why we give certain reactions in specific situations, leading us to dig down deep into the past experiences and insecurities that are unknowingly controlling our behaviours. So, in this context, the best thing not only to cope up with but to help us grow through life’s adversities is our increased self-consciousness.
The more we are self-aware, the more we can control our emotional reactions. As in hard times our rapid emotional response sometimes leads us to disasters. So by developing self-awareness, we can observe these emotional triggers and can handle them in a more effective way.
How to develop Self-consciousness
Self-reflection is the easiest way to develop self-consciousness. It helps us to look into ourselves and find the reasons behind our behaviours and reactions and in a way help us to make better choices to grow through life. Here are some easy possible ways to develop self-consciousness:
1. Writing Journals
If you write daily about your day’s experiences then you get a better chance to ponder each and every segment of your life. And it ultimately leads to a better grip on every matter whether it’ll be about your personal life or your social-life. As the saying goes:
“Journal writing, when it becomes a ritual for transformation, is not only life-changing but life-expanding.”
— Jen Williamson
2. Meditation
Meditation helps you to release long-accumulated unnecessary thoughts that, with the passage of time, pollute your whole personality. Also, it helps you to focus on the present to see what is really important for you and helps you to make better choices in the moment based on past experiences and in this way makes your journey towards self-awareness more easy.
3. Self-conversation
Talking to yourself can actually give you a lot more benefits than you expect. Firstly, it’s safest to tell your adversaries to yourself rather than giving your weakness to someone else. Secondly, when you speak up about what disturbs you, you make your problem clear. And since childhood we have learned through the ‘Biological Method of Problem Solving’ that the very first step in all sorts of problem solving is to ‘state the problem clearly’. So, if the problem is clear then its solution will also be clear soon. And that conversation with yourself lets you know how to grow through what you go through.
2. Find your support system to grow through what you go through
If you have a loyal friend to share your tears with then you are indeed a blessed human being!
Human beings are social animals that need a support system to work in a balanced state. Especially, when they need emotional support or they fear making a choice, their family and friends can provide not only psychological support but can also give practical assistance sometimes. So, a loyal and trustworthy friend can help change your hardships into ease and can guide you how to grow through life.
How does the support system work?
1. Provides emotional comfort
There is a famous Latin quotation by Pythagoras that goes:
Cor ne edito
“Eat not your heart”
It is also quoted by Sir Francis Bacon in his essay “Of Friendship“ where he explained how even the great people of times have fallen due to lacking a loyal friend to share their grieves with. In most cases you require emotional support and if you block yourself from seeking it then it will be like becoming a cannibal to yourself. Your family and friends can cut your griefs into half and can redouble your joys. So, in a way your support system can provide you two-fold benefits to help you grow through life.
2. Provides different perspectives
A true friendship provides you another lens to look at things when your own worldview does not make you satisfied. It helps you analyse the things in a different way and gives you a different perspective to look at the issues.
3. Provides practical help
Sometimes it is only your family and friends that give you a hand when you are falling. They never restrain from providing you with practical help whether it be financial help or a shoulder to lean on.
Seek Professional Help
Although the importance of your support system cannot be denied, in cases of severe traumas, it is much better to seek professional help. A therapist can better understand your psychological state and can treat you likewise. They can counsel and provide you with personalised treatment unique to your case, like emotional therapies or cognitive-behavioural therapies (CBT). They can help regulate your thought-patterns that ultimately cause the issue that if treated alone can bring more disasters than any good.
3. Invest in yourself and grow through life
When you are going through the ups and down of life, it is crucial not only to maintain your balance but to keep on moving ahead. And one best way for this is to invest in yourself. Giving yourself time, learning new things and setting realistic goals can help you turn the wave into ripples.
How to invest in yourself
Here are some easy ways to invest in yourself that guides you how to grow through what you go through:
1. Give yourself time
Being human, it is natural to get exhausted and impatient by the ever-disturbing obstacles but to give yourself appropriate time to stay calm and analyse the things can make a way out. It’s crucial to tell yourself that “Things will work!” and that “I’m stronger than my problem!”. Such unconditional self-love affirmations help you see the issue with more calmness and clarity.
Also, investing time on yourself helps you do a comparative analysis of your past that tells you, you can survive in the difficult situations as your past experiences has made you even stronger As the famous saying goes:
“Out of life’s school of war—what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.”
Friedrich Nietzsche (Twilight of the Idols)
2. Set realistic goals
Making goals is like setting a road map where you pin point every location you want to go. It is helpful especially when going through life’s adversities you lose the focus. These goals keep you motivated, focused and confident by not only reminding you of your purpose but also by dividing your path into manageable little steps.
Book Recommendation
Atomic Habits by James Clear can guide you how to make easily attainable goals by shaping your daily routines that ultimately helps you grow through life.
For a quick glance you can check Atomic Habits Book Review.
FAQs about growing through life
1. Can I turn my challenges into opportunities?
Yes, you can turn your challenges into opportunities. Developing self-awareness, seeking a support system and learning from your past experiences can help you make it possible.
2. Is it possible to overcome a traumatic experience easily?
Honestly speaking, it might not be easy in the beginning but once you make a staunch belief then nothing will be impossible. To climb a mountain you have to take small steps, similarly to overcome a traumatic experience you’ve to start taking little steps that might be in the form of setting realistic goals, giving yourself time or seeking a support system. And in case any of these will not work you can still reach for professional help. So therefore there are many ways to grow through life but the only thing it requires is your resilience.